Answers to Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Questions About the Relationship Institute

• What makes the seminars at the Relationship Institute different from other forms of relationship education?
  

  One central question has guided all of our scholarly work for the past two decades: If virtually everyone wants healthy, happy, and stable relationships, why is it that some relationships flourish where others falter? By studying countless books and published research findings, and by conducting research of our own, we have discovered some surprising answers to this question - answers you will not routinely find in self-help books or other seminars. As active scientists and educators, we see our special strengths as being able to read what scientists and practitioners have to say about relationships, to distill the knowledge and wisdom from that work, and to then deliver that information to you in a cogent and memorable way.

• Do you have a political or religious agenda?
  

  The Relationship Institute at UCLA does not endorse any political or religious viewpoint. Our philosophy is simple: because human intimacy is precious and valuable, we strive to provide couples with the knowledge and guidance that can help them have strong and satisfying relationships. That said, we fully recognize the important role that spirituality and religious beliefs can play in relationships, and we discuss this in our seminars.

Questions About Who Should Attend the Seminars

• We recently participated in a premarital education program. Will we learn something new at the Institute?
  

  Chances are good that our seminars will cover some of the material that you addressed in your counseling. However, our seminars are based on new research about how relationships develop and change, and so we are also very confident that our perspective will provide you with new insights.

• My relationship is not perfect, but basically I am pretty happy with it. Will I get anything out of attending a seminar?
  

  We believe you will. In fact we created the Relationship Institute for couples who already have strong relationships but who also want to know the best strategies for keeping it that way. Longitudinal studies show that relationships can lose their luster as time passes: children arrive and cut into couple time, expressions of affection and sex can drop off, we might spend more time at work trying to make ends meet, or we simply settle into a predictable routine. Relationships like this certainly aren't bad, but some couples realize that they do not want to continue on this path. So your relationship, like most relationships, might change, and you might feel like you want to get back some of the energy and spark that you once had. Seminars offered by the Relationship Institute are designed to help couples understand and counteract these changes, to learn how to appreciate their relationship and their partner more deeply, and to prepare for new challenges that the future might hold. The best time for couples to invest in their relationship is when it is going pretty well, and our seminars are designed to help you do that.

• My relationship is not going very well. Should I come to a seminar?
  

  Just to be clear - the Relationship Institute does not offer any form of counseling or therapy, and the seminars offered through the institute should not be considered as substitutes for therapy. Rather, the institute's mission is to educate people about relationships so that they can apply this knowledge to their own relationship. We believe that most couples can benefit from the information we provide, but we also know that these benefits are less likely if the partners are having difficulty working together. If you and your partner are struggling or are having trouble understanding each other, we recommend that you seek the help of a qualified counselor. Good first steps would be looking in the telephone book for a couples therapist or counselor, talking to your family physician or trusted friend, or asking a leader in your church or synagogue for suggestions.

• I am not married, nor am I thinking of getting married. Will I get anything out of attending a seminar?
  

  Absolutely. Although our current seminar, Building Your Best Marriage, is geared primarily to married couples, many of the central issues involved in maintaining an intimate relationship are common to all intimate relationships. All couples are welcome to attend our seminars, regardless of whether they are currently married.

• I would like to attend a seminar, but my partner won't come. Can I attend alone?
  

  The current seminar is designed primarily for couples, and we strongly encourage both partners to attend. If your partner cannot attend because of scheduling reasons, sign up for our mailing list to find out about future offerings that might fit better within your schedule. If your partner is simply unwilling to attend, however, you will still learn a great deal of practical information about relationships by attending the seminar alone.

• Are the seminars open to same-sex couples?
  

  Absolutely. We believe that most of the central issues that couples face are common to all intimate relationships, regardless of the partners' gender.

Questions About What Happens in the Seminars

• Will the seminars diagnose my relationship problems and tell me what to do?
  

  Not really. Our seminars focus far more on the strengths in your relationship than on any weaknesses you might have as a couple — and we then help you to build on that foundation. In addition, we aim to give you the tools and ideas that are most likely to keep your relationship vital and strong long after our seminar is over. We might be experts on relationships, but we know that you are the experts on your relationship. We can give you a new perspective on how relationships work, along with some specific tips and techniques, so that you will have more control over your relationship.

• Will I be pressured to speak out if I attend a seminar?
  

  No. With lively, interactive, and engaging presentations, our speakers will make everyone feel comfortable contributing their own experiences and opinions if they wish. There is no obligation for participants to contribute, however, and no one is ever pressured to speak up. Participation can take many forms, including just sitting back and listening.

Questions About Registering and Attending

• What happens after I register?
  

  After you register we will send you an email confirming your credit-card payment and the details of your reservation. We will not send anything to you by regular mail.

• Is there parking?
  

  Yes, there is ample parking on campus, close to where the seminars are held. UCLA does charge a fee park on campus, however, and this is not covered by your registration payment. For detailed parking information please see our Directions and Parking Web page.

• Is child care available?
  

  Unfortunately, no. Liability and staffing issues preclude us from offering childcare at the Institute.

• What if I have registered and paid for a seminar but then cannot attend?
  

  We request cancellations at least two weeks in advance for a full refund of registration fees. Space for all of the seminars offered by the Relationship Institute is extremely limited, so every registration purchased is a slot that could have gone to another couple.

• Can I purchase registration to a seminar as a gift for someone else?
  

  Certainly. Anyone - friends, parents, grandparents — can purchase seminar participation for anyone else, and we encourage and welcome this. The registration Web page makes this easy by allowing you to specify someone else as the registrant. After you enter this information, you will be directed to a payment page, where you can insert your name and credit card information.

• The seminar that I want is already filled. Is there a waiting list?
  

  Yes. Our registration Web page allows you to put your name on a wait list for a seminar date that has been filled. If there should be an opening before the date of the seminar, we will contact those on the waiting list by email.

Additional Questions

• Will you be offering seminars in my area?
  

  Currently, all seminars are held on campus at UCLA. Future seminars will be held off-campus. Please sign up for our MAILING LIST so that we can send you an email that will detail when these off-campus seminars have been scheduled.

• How will you protect my privacy?
  

  Your privacy is very important to us. As with any on-line transaction, we only collect information that is necessary for you to register and pay for a seminar. The Relationship Institute does not share our visitors' personal information with any third parties. We do not collect any personal information from participants during the seminars. Click here for more information on our Privacy Policy.

• Is this a research project?
  

  The offerings of the Institute are strictly for educational purposes and are completely separate from our research. We will ask you for anonymous comments and feedback at the conclusion of each seminar, solely to ensure that our future seminars are as effective as possible.

• What other seminars are offered by the Relationship Institute?
  

  Currently, the Relationship Institute offers one seminar at a time, but more seminars are in the planning stages. Future seminars will address topics of interest to coupes and families such as: the arrival of a new baby, retirement, work stress, health and managing chronic disease, and wealth management for couples. Feel free to contact us to suggest others!

• Can you present a seminar at my business or religious organization?
  

  Yes. We can present our existing seminars, and we can modify them to meet your scheduling needs (e.g., a lunchtime presentation or weekend retreat). We can also discuss other ways that we might tailor our topics and expertise to your interests and audience. If you are interested in discussing this possibility, please contact the Institute directly. Before contacting us, please be ready to discuss: the nature and goals of your event, audience, date, location, honorarium, and other contract details.

• Do you grant media requests for interviews?
  

  Yes. We work closely with print and broadcast media, and we invite your inquiries. Please contact us.